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Lucky Dollar

One of the girls at work -- let's call her Lucky -- found a dollar in the parking lot this morning.

Instead of being a good thing, for some odd reason this event touched off a bought of depression in us all.

LUCKY: I found a dollar in the parking lot!

FELLOW COWORKER: It's your lucky day!

ME: *jokingly* You could buy a whole pack of gum with that. *stops to think* ... Oh wait, no you can't.

FC: Can't even get a coke for a buck anymore.

LUCKY: Gee, thanks guys for cheering me up.  Anyway, I can get two tacos from the 99 cents menu at Jack-in-the-Box.

ME: Wouldn't that be $1.08?

LUCKY: Make that one taco from Jack in the Box.

(We looked at the crumpled bill. The poor thing looked incredibly forlorn, grayish-green and dirty, crumpled in her hand. The dollar has become nearly as obsolete as the penny in terms of what it can do on its own at fast food places. At least it adds up faster than a penny.)



JC: Well, crap.

FC: I feel old.

I did, too. Just a scant few weeks past my 34th birthday and suddenly age is all around me. I remember when I could get a Dr Pepper for 89 cents.

And when I type things like that, I become aware of how very much I sound like my parents with their tales of 39 cent burgers and 15 cent Cokes at the Top Notch Burger Stand.

I suppose it is one of the hazards of growing older. Along with expanding waistlines and receding hairlines, we develop the unfortunate habit of being able to recall things that happened Way Back When, but lose the ability to remember where you put your damned keys. It's one of those cruel acts of fate, along with being comfortable in your own skin when you are older and no longer as fit as you were when you were 18 with buns of steel and abs of iron. Then, you thought you were a heffer, no matter what the mirror showed. Now you are a heffer, know it and embrace it -- along with another pint of Cherry Garcia.

Now, where did I put my damned keys? It's time for lunch.







Meme: 25 Random Things About Me

I'm pretty sure I am the last person to do this damned thing. I know this because everyone and their mother has tagged me for it.

25 Random Things About MeCollapse )

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Footy bits: Calderon stepping down?

Yes, I know, Kaka to Citeh. Evs. But this just hit my desktop and made my eyes bug out:



Apparently, Marca is reporting that Calderon is stepping down as president of Real Madrid. Grain of salt time, probably.

Link

It's probably b.s., but you never know with Real.
Problem:  Rafa doesn't want to play mind games with Fergie.

Solution: He goes before the rabid British press and commences to play mind games with the Dark Lord himself.

Balls.

Well, perhaps not the biggest balls, but certainly the safest: Fergie apparently had his conference first.


Fergie has his mouth open; quelle surprise!

So, big, long press conference; big, long statement regarding Fergie's recent comments on the prem's fixture programme:
Benitez lays into rival Ferguson

Wish I had thought of it first ...

"Re: Ronaldo's driving mishap. It appears that His driving is like His recent free-kicks: no bend, just straight in to the wall" - Thomas Connolly."

From The Guardian's Fiver. (Who had the nifty title: ON FOOT CRISTIANO SOLDIERS)

And speaking of nifty title, this one is from GOAL, the NYT's football blog:

Ronaldo, Barely Touched, Winds Up in a Heap

The story included this stunning second-glance side-by-side:



Remarkably similar, no?

Joking aside, I'm glad the winking wanker is okay and has whiplash in time for the game against the Blues.

Guardian

Ronaldo's crash may cost him dear
Ronaldo escapes injury after car crash
Poll: is it wrong to laugh at wrecked Ferraris?

Quote of the Week

The Lord of Darkness, Sir Alex Ferguson, on Man United's F side getting their arses handed to them by Derby in the Tinfoil cup.

We were lucky," Ferguson snarled.  "We were so bad that Derby will rue the fact they didn't score more."

Once was all they needed. Well done, Derby!

As for the Man United players, they should feel horrified by the sheer gum carnage that will most likely ensue because of their shoddy work.  Boo, United players! Fergie will be masticating to nothingness loads of innocent little chiclets this weekend -- and it will be all your fault.

Derby 1-0 Man Utd

Other stories of interest

Giggs hints at Man Utd retirement (But not before the Chelski match, so you are SOL, Jens.)
Lalas fears Beckham may not return (He's not just hair and cheap, brown suits, that Lexi Lalas!)
Fresh inquiry into Tevez affair (Because the FA have nothing better to do than kick a team when they are down)

The FF2 Rich List - Top 20

1.
Shekh Mansour bin Zayed al-Nayan (Manchester City) £15bn

2. Lakshmi Mittal & family (QPR) £12.5bn
3. Roman Abramovich (Chelsea) £7bn  

4. Joe Lewis (Tottenham Hotspur) £2.5bn

5. Bernie & Slavica Ecclestone (QPR) £2.4bn
6. Stanley Kroenke (Arsenal) £2.245bn

7. Alisher Usmanov (Arsenal) £1.5bn

8= Lord Grantchester & The Moores Family (Everton) £1.2bn

8= Dermot Desmond (Celtic) £1.2bn

10= Lord Ashcroft (Watford) £1.1bn

10= Malcolm Glazer & family (Manchester United) £1.1bn

12. Simon Keswick (Cheltenham Town) £966m  

13. Trevor Hemmings (Preston North End) £900m

14. Mike Ashley (Newcastle United) £800m

15. Randy Lerner (Aston Villa) £750m

16. Tom Hicks (Liverpool) £700m
17. The Walker Family (Blackburn Rovers) £660m
18. Mohammed al-Fayed (Fulham) £650m

19. Sir David Murray (Glasgow Rangers) £600m

20. Steve Morgan (Wolves) £400m


*snirks* Roman should get used to not being No. 1. :)

And, Post-effing-script, if Dermot has that much money, why are the Bhoys having to make do with Samaras? Just curious. (Not that I'm dissing Sammy too badly, get better faster Sammy, k?)

You could say the glass is half-full ...

I want to go on the record as saying that I think having holidays in the middle of the week is a stupid idea if you have to go back to work the next day.

First things first: Happy New Year.

I started the second official day of 2009 by spilling about half of a 44 oz Dr Pepper on myself driving in from my parents' house in Round Rock.

And, may I say, Round Rock to South Austin is a long drive when you are sitting in a lake of Dr Pepper? It is. Ugh.

Stevie G arrested .. yes, that Stevie G

Mondays suck. It's hardly the wish of anybody who had a rough weekend to come into work and be greeted with the news that one of their favorite footballers has been arrested for GBH, but there you.

Life suckiness is complete.



Stevie storyCollapse )

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